Changes are a coming

 In my 30 days of Blogging attempt, I posted about where I see myself in 10 years.  That post was largely about my job, and how I loved my job and wanted to continue with this company for many years.  

Well, that was my hope.  And, for the record, I do still love my job.  However, I don't love the schedule that my job requires.  It leaves 4/5 days of my work week with no life other than work.  I barely see my kids, and I'm too mentally drained after working that far into the night to be capable of doing much of anything.  As a result, I miss my kids, and my house is falling apart.  I just can't keep up with the housework.  My boys are quickly growing up (Three will be 15 in 3 months, and Four is 12 1/2!) and I don't want to feel like I'm giving up these last years with them.

So I quit my job.  To be fair, I asked for a schedule change and was denied.  This is the schedule I signed up for, so it is what it is.  I just hate it more than I could have possibly imagined I would. I agreed to work 4 more weeks when I put in my notice, and I've completed the first of those.  I lose a little bit of my soul every time I go there at this point, BUT I'm trying to stay focused on these coming paychecks getting me through Christmas.  Paying my rent a little in advance so I don't have to worry for those first couple of months.  And spending time with all my work kids (who I will miss, but am hopeful that the ones I'm closest to and I will see each other after this time.)

I'm going to miss a lot of the people (my team, and my customers) but I am feeling really confident about where life is going to take me from here.  I have no net, no parachute, but I'm jumping anyway.  Truthfully, I don't even feel afraid. And if you know me in real life, you know that I spent the first 40 years of my life making most of my choices based in fear so it's quite the 180!  Other people in my life are scared for me, and maybe at some point I'll hit fear, but right now I feel very at peace with the choice and confident that whatever is meant for me will show up.  Trusting the universe in ways that I have never been able to before.  

So if you know of a legit job that you think would fit me, let's hear it.  

30 Days of Blogging: I failed.

 So 3 months ago, I started a blog challenge where you blogged every day for 30 days.  I did 7 posts, and not even in 7 days, it was 16.  *eye roll*  

I often say I'm going to give more time to this, as it really does serve me and make me feel better to write about things.  But I pretty consistently fall off the wagon.  

This is a self-care issue.  I know that this makes me feel better, I know that it is a good outlet for me, and yet...I don't prioritize it as I should.  I'm going to once again PROCLAIM that I'm going to prioritize this in my life.  I may not be great at it for the next month, because I'm going through some things that I will blog about tomorrow.  After that though, freedom to do as I please will arrive and I'm making some big moves to really prioritize ME.  

Bear with me, change is in progress and these next few months are gonna be one hell of a ride!

30 Days of Blogging: Day 7

 Reveal what your zodiac sign is and if it's a good fit. <side eye>

I'm a gemini. 

The 7 key traits are Gemini:

Adaptable

Outgoing

Intelligent

Indecisive

Impulsive

Unreliable

Nosy

I don't feel like I am unreliable, at all.  But the rest of that?  Probably pretty dead on.  I can be indecisive, but I'm actively working on being less impulsive.  

Gemini's are notoriously 2 faced and I don't do that.  I tell people all the time, I'm the kind of friend who will stab you in the forehead.  Meaning, I'm not going to talk behind your back.  I will tell you exactly how I feel.  Gemini's are also known grudge holders.  And, I'm NOTORIOUSLY too forgiving.  

30 Days of Blogging: Day 6

 Day 6 is 10 interesting facts about me that most people don't know.  Hmm we will see how "interesting" they are...

1.  I've completed 6 Spartan races.  If you aren't familiar, may I suggest the google.  They are intense obstacle course races.

2. I'm a licensed fitness instructor.

3.  I'm a HUGE believer in astrology, because have you read your birthchart or did it READ you?

4.  I'm a fan of all genres of music.  Yes, all.

5.  I have seen Matt Nathanson in concert 6 times, and met him once. I have pictures to prove it.

6.  I throw myself completely into whatever the moment is.  This can be a terrible thing, as well.

7.  I have children's sized feet.  A 4 Y.

8.  I am highly allergic to cats, and just generally don't like them.  They freak me out a little.  But 18 months ago we got a cat.  And next Thursday we are getting another.  

9.  I have a piece of art that I painted in every room in my house.

10.  I love trashy tv.  

30 Days of Blogging: Day 5

 I've been married twice.  And the biggest defeat I've felt is when my second marriage didn't work.  I was the problem, I've always maintained that truth.  I was the issue, I broke it.  He was willing to fix it, and I just didn't have it in me to do so.  I felt defeat.  I felt failure.  Both like I've never felt before. 

It's been 4 years since I decided to leave that marriage.  I've had quite the comeback to myself in that time.  Initially, I felt like I was drowning, or coming apart altogether.  It's hard to describe adequately in words.  After some time though, I've found me.  I like her again.  I'm authentic to who I am, and with everyone in my life at this point.  

Overall, I guess it wasn't a total loss.  My boys seem well adjusted, we only live a couple miles from their dad and they spend equal time at both homes.  I've tried my best to only say lovely things about their father, which truthfully is easy because he's a very good man who has taken care of them, their sisters and me for years. 

30 Days of Blogging: Day 4

 Day 4 is to discuss my religious beliefs.  

This is tricky to describe for me.  It's not really a religion. It's spirituality and lifestyle.  I'm a sage burning, crystal using, moon water making, essential oil blending, candle working kinda girl.  

Seriously, I carry crystals in my pocket on the daily.  I have several on my nightstand.  And even more in a case in my closet since I rotate them out based on the needs of myself, my friends, and my family.  

I don't really subscribe to any religion, just love of the universe and the belief that it will take superb and exact care of me.  I meditate daily, which by my definition is prayer.  It starts with gratitude and ends with asking the universe to speak to me and through me, to give me so much joy and peace that I can give it away to others throughout the day as they need.  

30 Days of Blogging: Day 3

 Day 3 is about my experiences with drugs and alcohol.

WELL...truthfully, I didn't have any experiences at all until about 35.  True story.  In the last 10 years though, Ive drank my fair share.  I've given myself alcohol poisoning twice.  Twice, cause I'm an idiot.   

Drugs is really not my thing...so no experience there.  

Overall, I have a lot of really great times while drinking.  Mostly in moderation.  The alcohol poisoning incidents were brought on by heartache truthfully.  Drowning the sorrows, and what not.  I've found better coping mechanisms since then.  :)