Thursday, April 9, 2015

Skinny Housewife/Wordy Wednesday combo post

Wednesday's are kinda crazy lately, so I didn't get the post up.  *shrug*  It happens.  What I was going to post ties into Skinny Housewife though, so I'm going to bang it out today.

You all know I was training hard to be in the best shape of my life before my Spartan Sprint (which is this Sunday!)  Then, March happened.  March can suck it.  And by it, I mean big hairy balls.  Yep, suck it, March.

Around the beginning of March I just started to feel "off."  I was exceptionally tired.  More tired than I can EVER recall being.  I also stopped sleeping.  No amount of sleep aids, limiting caffeine, limiting screen time was helping.  There was no consistent sleep to be had.  This only made me feel worse, of course.  It got to the point where every little thing seemed like an uphill battle, it just took too much effort to do ANYthing.  My body felt heavy, that's how exhausted I was.  Daily functioning took all my energy, and there was literally NOTHING left for myself.  I stopped going to the gym, I didn't run, and I was barely making it through the classes I teach, and my house was in shambles.  It got bad enough that people who don't really know me well were noticing that I "didn't seem like me."  It was mostly the energy level that tipped people off.  I am a VERY HIGH energy person (especially for my age) and I just didn't have any.  I felt bad every time my family asked me if I was ok, because all I felt like I was doing was whining:

Are you ok?  How are you feeling?
I feel awful.  I'm so tired.

It was the only mantra I had and it also played over and over in my own head, which just perpetuated the misery.  3 weeks ago I decided I couldn't do it anymore, and drug myself to the doc.  We figured out what was going on, and quickly developed a solution.  Within 48 hours, I felt unbelievably like MYSELF again.  Within 4 days, I was totally back.

I've been rattling in my own brain about what I was supposed to learn from this (I believe the universe is always trying to teach us something, from every experience) and I keep coming up empty.  My life is normally blissfully happy (I often tell people, when they ask how I am, that I'm so good I have to pinch myself to make sure this is REALLY my life!) and this turned my whole world upside down.  But, what was the lesson?  Last night, I had dinner with The Bestie and The Lyonesse.  They both deal with chronic illness, and so do several other friends/acquaintances of mine and I had the thought that maybe I was simply learning empathy.  A one month long dose of this is similar (although, a mild version) to what they live in their life EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I will continue to rattle this around in my brain, and try to learn what it is I'm supposed to gain from this experience.

Fortunately, for me, it was short-lived and a relatively easy fix.  I'm now back to myself.  #makingAprilmybitch and looking forward to competing in the Spartan race at less than my best, but still giving it my all.  I have 2 more Spartans to do this year, and hopefully, I'll be in tip-top physical shape for those.


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