Friday, June 14, 2013

Flashback Friday: One

Today's Flashback Friday is going to fit a different mold than my normal post. I'm going to flashback...WAY BACK.  See, two days from now is my eldest child's birthday.  One will be 15.  Holy.  Hell.  How does this keep happening???

15 years ago right now I was probably the most miserable person on the planet.  I was gigantic...and people who see me now, never believe that--and if you've known me through my other pregnancies NONE of them were even CLOSE to how big I got with One.  When I sat down, I couldn't see my thighs.  No lie.  I have this theory that she must have been lying perpendicular to my body (yeah, I know...she wasn't.  But it felt that way.)

15 years ago tomorrow I saw my OB for what was one of three weekly visits at that point.  You see, I changed doctors in the middle of my pregnancy, and my 2nd OB (whom has stayed my OB for the last 15 years) did a "dating ultrasound" and moved my due date up by a week.  Well, when the due date came and went...he didn't want to rush to induce me, since maybe my original due date had been more correct.  Instead of inducing me, they just monitored me very closely.  It was June in North Carolina, and while I'm sure there are places closer to hell than here...I was incapable of believing that 15 summers ago.  I went in to see my doctor, and they monitored me and they checked my fluid levels...and he said to me "The baby looks great still, around 8 maybe 8 1/2 lbs...your fluid levels are fine.  I see no reason to evict her yet...if you come in on Friday and nothing is happening (because, you see, I wasn't dilating or effacing, nada) we'll wait it out over the weekend and Monday we can talk about induction.

Another week??  ANOTHER WEEK??  Of being a whale, of being unable to move or sleep, or just feel like a human....I couldn't do it.  I COULD NOT.  I was not being a manipulative person when I burst into tears that day.  I just honestly, in my core, knew that I could not be pregnant another 7 days.  The OB took pity on me, and stepped out and asked his office manager to set up an induction for me the next day.  Hallelujah.  For those of you who would like to jump on me, or my OB for an elective induction....I've never 2nd guessed this choice.  In the end, their u/s size guess was completely WRONG and I'm grateful we got her out when we did.

She was a giant baby.  9 lbs 9 oz and 21 3/4" long.  She had a head full of black hair, and my nose.  She got stuck...and as a result I had nearly 100 stitches in an area that you don't want them to stitch.  She was breathing, but not really well on her own and my OB had rightfully ordered the NICU respiratory team into the room during delivery.  Difficult births occurred with two of my four children.  It must be total coincidence that they are the two most challenging personalities of the group as well, right?

My eldest child has always been independent and strong.  She's crazy gifted, and incredibly creative and talented.  She would crawl away and "read" books in her room alone for nearly an hour when she was just 9 months old.  She would "read" picture books to her sister when she was 2.  And she could truly READ before her 3rd birthday.  Coincidentally, she hasn't read anything non-school required or web-based-fan-fiction in YEARS.  *eye roll*  She is empathetic, often to her own detriment.  She is huge into fashion, which fits well with her artist personality.  And as an aside, she is stunningly beautiful.  She made me a mama.  And, she broke me in well.  It's been incredibly hard being her mother, and I am still only hopeful that I didn't screw it up entirely.  That there has been enough good, to outweigh all the really bad.  For what it's worth, this person she is at 15 (although I could live without the attitude and eye rolls) is pretty great girl.

I can't believe she's been here 15 years.
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