30 Days of Blogging: Day 6

 Day 6 is 10 interesting facts about me that most people don't know.  Hmm we will see how "interesting" they are...

1.  I've completed 6 Spartan races.  If you aren't familiar, may I suggest the google.  They are intense obstacle course races.

2. I'm a licensed fitness instructor.

3.  I'm a HUGE believer in astrology, because have you read your birthchart or did it READ you?

4.  I'm a fan of all genres of music.  Yes, all.

5.  I have seen Matt Nathanson in concert 6 times, and met him once. I have pictures to prove it.

6.  I throw myself completely into whatever the moment is.  This can be a terrible thing, as well.

7.  I have children's sized feet.  A 4 Y.

8.  I am highly allergic to cats, and just generally don't like them.  They freak me out a little.  But 18 months ago we got a cat.  And next Thursday we are getting another.  

9.  I have a piece of art that I painted in every room in my house.

10.  I love trashy tv.  

30 Days of Blogging: Day 5

 I've been married twice.  And the biggest defeat I've felt is when my second marriage didn't work.  I was the problem, I've always maintained that truth.  I was the issue, I broke it.  He was willing to fix it, and I just didn't have it in me to do so.  I felt defeat.  I felt failure.  Both like I've never felt before. 

It's been 4 years since I decided to leave that marriage.  I've had quite the comeback to myself in that time.  Initially, I felt like I was drowning, or coming apart altogether.  It's hard to describe adequately in words.  After some time though, I've found me.  I like her again.  I'm authentic to who I am, and with everyone in my life at this point.  

Overall, I guess it wasn't a total loss.  My boys seem well adjusted, we only live a couple miles from their dad and they spend equal time at both homes.  I've tried my best to only say lovely things about their father, which truthfully is easy because he's a very good man who has taken care of them, their sisters and me for years. 

30 Days of Blogging: Day 4

 Day 4 is to discuss my religious beliefs.  

This is tricky to describe for me.  It's not really a religion. It's spirituality and lifestyle.  I'm a sage burning, crystal using, moon water making, essential oil blending, candle working kinda girl.  

Seriously, I carry crystals in my pocket on the daily.  I have several on my nightstand.  And even more in a case in my closet since I rotate them out based on the needs of myself, my friends, and my family.  

I don't really subscribe to any religion, just love of the universe and the belief that it will take superb and exact care of me.  I meditate daily, which by my definition is prayer.  It starts with gratitude and ends with asking the universe to speak to me and through me, to give me so much joy and peace that I can give it away to others throughout the day as they need.  

30 Days of Blogging: Day 3

 Day 3 is about my experiences with drugs and alcohol.

WELL...truthfully, I didn't have any experiences at all until about 35.  True story.  In the last 10 years though, Ive drank my fair share.  I've given myself alcohol poisoning twice.  Twice, cause I'm an idiot.   

Drugs is really not my thing...so no experience there.  

Overall, I have a lot of really great times while drinking.  Mostly in moderation.  The alcohol poisoning incidents were brought on by heartache truthfully.  Drowning the sorrows, and what not.  I've found better coping mechanisms since then.  :)

30 Days of Blogging: Day 2

 Day 2 is late, because the last two days at work have been busy busy busy and by the time I get home, I just want to not do much.  

But Day 2 is where do I see myself in 10 years?  I do hope to still be with my current company.  I work for a great company (IMO) that really cares about its employees and customers.  I'm currently an assistant manager, and just finished up a week-long training for that position that has me really motivated.  When I took this position, I knew it was temporary for me.  I have other goals.  This is a step on that path.  However, I really love this position, and I'm super happy with where I am. There are some others in my store that want my job, and that makes me happy as well!  When I move up, I hope someone who has as much passion for it as I do takes my spot.  

I originally wanted to move to our QA department, which is our internal store inspector.  My original schooling was to gain a degree in QA for pharmaceutical manufacturing, it was interrupted by having babies.  But this career move makes sense, it's something I've been interested in for my whole adult life.

During my recent training though, I have been giving serious thought to being store manager, and maybe district beyond that.  I feel like I'm a strong leader, and I really enjoy working with my team (and the team I was put with for this training as well.) 

For the 10-year track, I hope I can experience a few more positions within my current company.  

30 Days of Blogging: Day 1

 I know I'm starting a 30 day "challenge" on the 15th of the month and some of your minds are BLOWN.  Heck, I'm kinda blown away myself for doing it.  But I'm going to just jump in.  So day 1 is July 15th and I'm going to do my best to carve out a few minutes every day to blog whatever subject this list I found suggests (or an off-shoot of their subject.)

Today's subject:  Explain my current relationship.

Ooof.  Lets just JUMP all in huh guys?  Oy vei.  

Here goes nothing.  My current relationship is MUCH MUCH to the dismay of many many people in my life.  I know this should be the most gigantic red flag of all time, I know I know.  It's been ongoing, and a roller coaster doesn't even really cover it.  Some terrible things have happened.  Some of those things are things most people would never forgive.  Here I am anyway.  

Four years ago, in the throws of complete despair (mistake 1, probably) I got on a dating app.  I just wanted a distraction, actually, and to get laid.  We really hit it off, and what was supposed to be breakfast last 6 hours and at the end of those 6 hours we still didn't really want to leave each other.  This freaked us both out and we barely spoke for the next several weeks.  Then we decided to sleep together.  IDK.  For months, I thought we were just FWB.  I liked him, but he was very hot and cold.  We didn't date, we hooked up and he left.  He never slept here.  It worked for me, because after I was still hung up on the last heartbreak.  4 months in he made the statement that he could see himself married to me, and I BUSTED out laughing.   He laughed too, but then wanted to know what was so funny.  I said (direct quote here) I don't think you had any idea what you were about to say, you just opened your mouth and some feelings fell out!  He agreed with that assessment.  

We both really messed it up from there, but a lot of my friends and family would say he has messed up way more than me.  I'm just not the score keeping type, and I'm far too forgiving for my own good.  We've broken up and gotten back together more times than either of us could count.  There has been a lot of heartache for me, but something keeps bringing me back to him.  

I'm going into this time around with a relaxed attitude which is HARD for me.  HARD.  FOR.  ME.  I'm letting go of expectation, and with the attitude of if it works great, if not fine.  I'm done being upset about it.  

Maybe this is the time, maybe it's not...we will see!  And now, we can all see together.  

2021 Travel Goals

After I got fully vaccinated back in April, I set a goal for myself to travel more in 2021 than I ever have in my life.  Truly.  I wanted to do more, even if it was day trips or a single overnight.  

So far, I have been successful!  

The ocean is just under 2 hours from me and since late April I've visited 6 times and have plans to go again end of the week.  I live right around 2 hours from one of my favorite spots, Hanging Rock State Park, as well.  I've visited there less...but that's because it's summer and I'm taking advantage of the beach.  I have visited Hanging Rock twice this year though.  I just spent two nights in Winston-Salem, which is a city that I had never visited before (aside from a dance competition once where I didn't do any exploring.)  We visited some murals downtown, went over to Mt Airy, and visited the waterfalls in Hanging Rock State Park while we were there.  We visited Beech Mountain for Easter and had such a good time that we are planning a family trip back there in September to include my parents.  

I made one really big trip and I did it completely alone.  I've flown alone before, but always to meet someone or a group.  And I have always been met at the airport by someone I know.  This trip wasn't that.  I flew alone.  Picked up my rental car to travel the area alone.  Checked into my hotel alone.  I went on tours alone.  I stayed in the hotel alone.  I swam alone. I hiked alone.  And it was the most magnificent life-changing trip ever.  This trip was across the country,  NC--->AZ.  I have never seen the Grand Canyon and just decided to go.  I had taken some time off for a purpose that didn't work out, so 10 days before the trip I booked it.  I wanted to do something and go somewhere brand new to me.  I will never regret doing that for myself. 

I booked a Grand Canyon tour, and I would highly recommend it.  My tour guide was wonderful, I can't even speak enough good words about him.  He and I were alone on the bus for the last leg since I was the last one to be dropped off and he told me that he could tell that I "got it" on a level that not everyone does and that made the experience even more rewarding for him as well.  And I did get it.  I tell you I sat at a south rim overlook and cried at the sheer overwhelming beauty and vastness!

I feel like my joy and peace radiates from my face in this picture.  I visited Buddah Beach and the red rocks of Sedona while there as well, purchased crystals, and learned a lot of history as well.  I don't know that I can top this trip, but here's to trying!

Birthday Projects: Project 5

 My aunt passed away 5 years ago, and she gifted me a headboard.  Like my new end table, it is an old and solidly constructed piece of furniture.  I decided to give it a new style, again, so it would feel more like me. 

Here is the before, just your basic wooden headboard.  

I sanded it, and painted it navy blue, and then did a little distressing.  

I know I took a photo of just the headboard before I put the bed back together but I have lost that picture on my phone somehow, so here you get the gist of it PLUS you get to see the beautiful tapestry that my work kid selected for this space.