I've been married twice. And the biggest defeat I've felt is when my second marriage didn't work. I was the problem, I've always maintained that truth. I was the issue, I broke it. He was willing to fix it, and I just didn't have it in me to do so. I felt defeat. I felt failure. Both like I've never felt before.
It's been 4 years since I decided to leave that marriage. I've had quite the comeback to myself in that time. Initially, I felt like I was drowning, or coming apart altogether. It's hard to describe adequately in words. After some time though, I've found me. I like her again. I'm authentic to who I am, and with everyone in my life at this point.
Overall, I guess it wasn't a total loss. My boys seem well adjusted, we only live a couple miles from their dad and they spend equal time at both homes. I've tried my best to only say lovely things about their father, which truthfully is easy because he's a very good man who has taken care of them, their sisters and me for years.
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